whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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