We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My friends, they love my intelligence
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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