he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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