I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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