just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
