He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
barbara walters just said penis...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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