Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
