No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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