Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
