I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
