this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
