How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
