Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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