Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
