I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i can't believe i had my finger in that
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
