You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
