People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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