He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
