ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Panties = found
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
