when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There r osticjed everywhere
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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