We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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