Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
