I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
