Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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