i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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