at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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