idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
