Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
