I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
