if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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