I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
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