im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
