At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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