Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
not ubering you a puppy
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
