Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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