its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
There are leaves in my underwear?
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