k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
