Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
