I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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