I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
