I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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