do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
