Porn is love you can see.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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