I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
