i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
