I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
