Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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