What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
