just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
