I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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