pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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